SURPRISE.
After 6 years of having this livejournal account, I've decided to change my username/create a new one.

http://ikearstin.livejournal.com/

Although my heart still belongs to Zildjian, my favorite number, and my favorite color, I figure this was best.
We've gone our separate ways.
The new LJ account still applies as this one. Private only.

ATTENTION LIVEJOURNAL READERS:
This livejournal is now friends only.
All entries from 10/20/08 and on will be strictly private/friends only basis.
There have been too many power trips and pathetic attempts to inaugurate litigations, dramatic bullshit and other adventures I'd care to spare.

Please comment below if you're interested in reading my entries, rants, spurts and nonsense.
Please note, posting does not guarantee accepted access, this just gives me a moment to verify who you are.
I will reply to you here.

If you do not have a livejournal username (considering anonymous comments were turned on previously), let me I invite you to create a free account to suffice your stalking needs =)

THANK YOU!

"Ohh, there are the nuclear codes!"

http://www.palinaspresident.us/

http://www.windycitycomicon.com/

This Saturday. 10/25
$5 to get in. Even at the door.
10AM-6PM
3656 N Halsted, Chicago 60613

I better see you there with flying colors.
Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be going dressed up. I have to wait until Monday the 27th to finish my Jupiter costume!

It bothers me when cyclists, especially teenagers, never follow road rules. I almost hit a goddamn girl today on her stupid bike because she didn't stop at the 4-way stop. I had already done my stop and was in the middle of the cross when she comes bolting in front of me.
I apply that same frustration to those super serious cyclists in their spandex and racing personas when they came speeding down hills on the street, not the sidewalk, and disregard any other cars that are driving.
Then what if I hit you, is it my fault because you're a pedestrian? Or is it your fault for not following road rules? The same shit applies to you, asshole.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,438743,00.html

This is like 3 blocks from my work office and the baby has my name! lol
It's kind of funny that they focus more on the child, rather than the other THREE PEOPLE who died trying to SAVE this baby in the first place.

There's still traffic around here, and the school, because they're still cleaning parts of it up.
It's so weird when things like this happen.

It's a shame though. Here are these people who save peoples lives everyday, and this day for a baby who was ill, they all just crashed.

When God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD.

During my lunch break today, I was watching the news, and one of the news breaks was with special guest Hilary Duff to talk about her PSA campaign about "Stop Saying 'That's So Gay!" I honestly thought it was a joke at first, but, it ends up being that it's totally serious. Even commercials. With other celebrities supporting it.

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK DOT COM
Article 1
Article 2
Article 3





First and foremost, does anybody else notice that even though they're trying to get you to stop using a "derogatory" word such as gay, they're still encouraging the insulting ethics? Just rephrasing it? It's totally hypocritical.
Homosexuals are almost looking for something to bitch about now and need celebrity exposure to "get their word heard". Which is pathetic.
Why are you taking that so personally?

You brats "stole" the word from it's original meaning anyway. Get over yourself.

gay [gey] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, -er, -est, noun, adverb
–adjective
1. having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
2. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.
3. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
4. licentious; dissipated; wanton: The baron is a gay old rogue with an eye for the ladies.

You're like the millionth meaning behind a word that's just been "claimed" from where it originated. Welcome aboard the slang train.
Same goes for fag, dork, cock, bitch or any other entendre.
It's only insulting if you think it's insulting. If you're so proud to be homosexual and want to fight for such a pointless "cause", then just embrace yourself, love yourself, and quit starting ridiculous dramatic temper tantrums. Being gay isn't so you can be different and have something to croak and moan about, I'm pretty sure last time I check being a homosexual was sexual interest if not emotional interest/attraction towards the same sex?
Please.
Correct me if I'm wrong.

I myself am bisexual. I'm sexually attracted to women. Emotionally, I am not. Seeing as 99.97% of us are complete nut cases, whores, psychotics, ignorant, and just flat out retarded, so dating any females is strictly out of the question. To me, if you're seeing someone, you're seeing that one person. You're taken. None of this "it isn't cheating if it's the same sex" bullshit. Another person is cheating. Cheating is cheating. Just admit you're a slut. Thanks.
Anyway, that's a whole other ball park, since I get told or encouraged with that crap all the time. Pigs.

When I was watching this news story on tv, they brought in another special guest of a lesbian student from some high school. She went on a rant about how she's been physically assaulted from people because she's gay. Alright, so there are haters in the world. Wake up. You can apply that same bullshit sob story to just about every minority, every minor, every female, every lower class, some upper class, other countries. etc etc.
People are too negative and want to cause fights over unnecessary things.

It's almost like how they use rainbows for their "signature". Dude, rainbows came from an optical effect from the whole spectrum of light thru moisture, crystals, or what have you. aka science. You're not science. You're a choice (or environmental influence depending on who you are lol).

So on this PSA campaign website, they even have a little blurb to what words really mean. So what, are you broadcasting that you "own" the definition of gay? What's that called... a contradiction?

So, I guess what I'm trying to say.... is I think people need to fight for better causes than double meaning (hell 7th meaning) words and learn to embrace more than attack.

I've never registered. Nor will I ever vote.

I'm not saying the literal act of voting is a bad thing. Yes, women fought for the right. I'm just saying what it represents now is stupid. Fuck it. It's embarrassing to be American.
The intentions of politics, and more so around election season, doesn't even feel more "for the people" anymore.
It's a power trip and a cock fight.
I'm not whining about anything, so the "don't vote, don't whine" thesis can stop right now. I could go third party if I wanted to, or completely neutral. Either way, what points to me, is gas is still going to be paid, taxes will never cease to exist and I'll never go to war. I don't vote, for that very reason. I live here, I'll follow whatever rules there are, because that's the way this fucking country works. Rules. Government. Not for me, but choices based on a bias representative.
Just because I don't vote, doesn't mean I can't form a judgemental opinion that voting has corrupted to be formed around propaganda and media.
Amongst a longer list of my dislike with politics in general, not "fuck the government", I just don't.
If I was such as that, I would be in Canada. With free insurance.
I haven't moved to such a thing, because I follow these such rules.
Rules is not equal to Rights.
Rules have no choice.
Rights have a choice.
I chose not to vote. It doesn't matter. Whatever shit happens, I'm going to follow through with it. We've survived with Bush this long, I'm sure I'll be alive with either of these guys. Even if McCain chokes, and then we have a Tina Fey lookalike hockey mom who hates gay marriages as president.

She'll just get shot anyway.

With my opinion I'm allowed to have, why is it all of a sudden shunned upon to broadcast? Just because it's not positive, nor democrat or republican, doesn't mean I can't have it.

Wow. She got fat. Still acts like a 16 year old dramatic waste of toxic snatch juice. Wow. Just wow. Thanks Racahel, lol.

I'm really upset with myself that I haven't followed thru with any art projects or art in general since school. In high school I was in: Graphic Design, Studio Art AP, Drawing, ARt Appreciation, Photoshop CS2, whilst then following the immense work of portfolio jobs and commission work.
I've decided to pick drawing back up. I haven't done it in so long I'm so rusty that I've been pitching fits about it. How I "can't draw anymore".
So, below are my first two decent sketch-gone-colored-in-Photoshop. I'm thinking of doing commission work of people.

Critique?



I'm still super shakey when I'm using my tablet. I'm trying to break this puppy in. Way different than drawing on paper, I'll tell you that. So you can tell when I went in and added the ivy in the tablet. Scribble scribble scribble.

I got this game today. It rules. I played Lego Star Wars, which is just as sweet, but of course Batman > Star Wars.
I already started and I shall continue thru the nigggght.

I also got this in lady size:


I've officially finished seasons 1-6 in Smallville, but I refuse to pay $60 for season 7.

I got a Batman coin tin piggy bank.

I found World of Warcraft with the Frozen Throne expansion pack. I must dust this puppy off and start.

Saw "Baby Mama" - not as good as I thought but it had it's parts and I like Amy Poehler.

Saw "The Love Guru" - funny, because I love Mike Myers, duh.

Bought 30 comics for $6. They had packs of 10 for $1.50 for "handing out as trick or treats" and you don't know what 10 are inside each! I got doubles of Grim Jack, Secret Wars II, 20 Million Miles More, Metal Gear Solid, and Hero by Night.

I got the Kid Robot Birdgirl Adult Swim from eBay.

I got a Sailor Jupiter tiara made for me that's not a headband, but it's used so I can spirit gum it to my face.

I got Aperture for my computer.

I took pictures of O'Linda's son on Saturday for his homecoming:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=95705488&albumId=2195372

I got Colossus and Angel figures from Super Hero Squad.

I got the Phoenix toon tumblers glass (I already have Dark Phoenix).

I got Louie a beige shiny new collar with a fish charm and beige bell.

I got Brock Scooby Snacks.

I got some clothes from Discovery because fall season is the best season ever for weather and cute things to wear.

My phone is turned back on, feel free to text the shit out of me.

http://homepage.mac.com/matthewgaynor/kearstin2

These are safe for work!

As I'm sure some of you know, I'm heavily interested and attracted to cosplay. A lose term pretty much used for "those geeks you see at Star Wars conventions with 3450857308457 chicks dressed as slave girl Leias". I guess you can consider it a fetish, really. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but an intense attraction. Recently, I'm been striving to learn more in the seamstress ways and creating plans to role as favorite characters of mine. There's a small few of infamous cosplayers that I genuinely look up to. Ruby Rocket, Yaya Han, and my favorite: Adella.*
Since I have my Sailor Jupiter costume in the midst of 90% complete, I wanted to ask her a question in regards to recreating a bow that's "blossomed" or "stiff" instead of limp like a flaccid prepubescent weiner.

Via myspace:
As I initiate the conversation -
ME: "Quick question. What'd you do to your Helena bow so it sticks up and out like that? Instead of flat like a flaccid weiner =P "
(Helena reference photo of her cosplay)
ADELLA: "lol it's just interfaced XD"
ME:"With?!?! =P"
ADELLA: "interfacing O_O;;;;"
ME:"aka can you explain that because i'm a total n00b =)"
ADELLA: "lol.. if you don't know what interfacing is I don't think you'll be able to sew anything like Helena's costume. Its a really basic sewing notion that is used to make fabric stiffer."
ME:"That sounds like a challenge!!!!
(thanks btw lol)"
ADELLA: "not a challenge... just a fact based on skill level."
ME:"Well, thanks for that. Kind of makes me at least try."

Now, I kind of took offense to this but at the same time I feel a bit more of a push to get my butt moving if I want to take this seamstress stuff seriously. What sucks is that I'm stuck right now with a decision between following/finishing college in computers, or fashion design. Both are extremely awesome and has a future in each field. I also have "hobbies" or side projects as a photographer/graphic artist as I'm sure it will suffice for now =) However, as much as I love google tutorials, teaching myself, and learning from others, I'd really like to have that sense of completion that I permanently have proof that I have succeeded at something. However, I hate the college concept how so many are "in a rush to get in line" just to get that piece of paper that's the only boundary between teaching myself, and graduating with a degree in said fields. I also feel almost in a hurry to do so many things "before I get too old". But I'm in no rush! Age shouldn't matter when you're an artist! And a genius!
Right now, money is the problem. I can't afford to go back to school yet. Especially while I'm "supporting" my family. I hate having interests in so many things. I can't make up my mind on what I want to do. I can tell you that I have a WAY better idea than I used to. I know definitely computers is something I'm heavily interested in. Taught myself mild HTML, BBCode, I do graphic design, and have plans to get certified in Mac Specialist. At my job, I'm nicknamed "machine" on account of mindlessly how fast I type, but how fast I pick up learning information on internet, cable, phone, servers, networks, data input, etc. There's a department called the NOC. Network Outage Center. I got offered to work in that department (think 8 dollar raise lol). However, due to the ridiculous conspiracy theory back in April, I'm still on final warning and am not obligated to change departments or pretty much do anything but my repetitive drone work. Alas, I feel this company will look good on my resume =)

Anyway, sidetracked.
Adella's little "attitude" in her message, how I read it or intended as is, has given me an extra boost of eager to further more into costume and design. Nowadays seeing high fashion designers and what their signature lines have been, it's almost... a joke. Alright alright, joke more so meaning "what the hell, I can do that shit". I have so many things brewing around in my brain matter that I'm surprised my frustration at life hasn't pushed me to actually follow thru with anything. At the same time, it still comes right back down to financial reasons. A lot of my plans are quasi on hold until this shit blows over with my family. Where we don't have to worry who will have 2 bucks to grab 6 rolls of TP next at the dollar store.

I think I might go apply to the Mac store for a second job.
What am I doing with my life? Watching Smallville for hours a day is how I spend my free time. Taking photos of mediocre if not professional status models for free. Working at a job I have no plans to stay at forever.
By the way, I also want to get married. There's money in that, too =)


* - cosplayer contact: http://www.yayahan.com/, http://www.rocketsagogo.com/, http://www.adellacosplay.com/

Captain's Log: 9/22/08 - The struggle for g33ksqaud.

USERNAME: trucidate
I got a message from some dude online today. We of course talked about comics. He told me he stopped reading comics when this local store closed. I asked him why stop just cause a store closed. He also told me that he doesn't follow story lines and judges artwork by if it doesn't "look cool" he won't buy it. He asked "What's the point?"
I immediately responded "Um, the storyline?! That's the point. Don't tell me you're a comic reader when you only purchase/read issues of some cool looking fight scenes and google/wikipedia the rest of it."
He almost tried to tell me Jean Grey wasn't Black Queen at one point. He said it was only Selene.
He almost tried to tell me that there was no 1990's white costume Storm, just the mohawk (80's) and Uncanny.

You know, I'm not the kind of reader who's a preacher and/or starts fights with you if you're either wrong or don't know about a certain story or character, but fuck com'on. This kind of crap drives me crazy. Like, you noticed I liked X-Men, added me on myspace, googled a few things, noticed Age of Apocalypse, and now you know everything.
_________________________________________________

Smallville Marathon:
I'm now up to purchased 1-6 seasons of Smallville since I never followed it on TV, I have to start from the beginning. I don't know what it is, but I'm totally hooked on this show. Hot chicks hot dudes Superman Lex Luthor gore violence psychotics and mediocre high school drama... addiction at it's finest.
NaShanta showed me people she's come across who cosplayed Smallville characters. Right down to where Clark where's red kryptonite in that ring with the chest piece scar. Sweet. She told me she will wed him one day. Oh yes, one day.
_________________________________________________

Adobe Suite and the Compy l33ts:
Totally in the middle of installing. I'm excited. I must utilize the full package. I want to start learning Flash with Rich. Him more so for cartoons because he's interested in making a cartoon (which I'm a firm believer he would be amazing at) as well as I into flash for websites and graphic design.
Speaking of, I might start up a website finally this weekend. I have so many outlines in my brain matter, it's amazing and making me anxious.
One thing though, is that some domain provider has onewomanshow.com, and I don't want to buy it for an astounding price when I could do... THEonewomanshow.com bwahaha!
_________________________________________________

In other news...
Rich and I want to learn Japanese.
Sailor Jupiter cosplay almost complete.
Birdgirl/Judy cosplay in progress.
Phoenix cosplay almost complete.
Dark Phoenix cosplay almost complete.
White Phoenix of the Crown cosplay almost complete.
Rich's blacksuit Spider-man cosplay almost complete.
Rich's Vash (Trigun) cosplay in progress.
I keep buying more and more books. I also want to get a pocket dictionary to stash in my purse.
Brock is getting big!
Louie stopped peeing on things.
I had a tiff with Richie last night in regards to a "stop bitching more doing" speech on choices in life.
Haven't seen Tabby in a while. I kind of want to distance myself until she's cleaned up her act. I have enough going on to worry about her conditions and choices.
I'm considering the iPhone.
I'm considering a new job (if this other department doesn't hire me once my stupid final warning clears next month for conspiracy theory).
I think I need like 4 terabytes in external hard-drive because all the shit I keep doing I need more space hahaha.
I'm itching for new tattoos/finish my chest piece.
I want Eric Tan artwork/prints (think Pixar's Incredibles opening/Wall-E's advertisements)
I also think this weekend I want to purchase a couple canvases and pick art back up, I think I'm getting rusty.
I'm going to be focusing more on photography than modeling now. Only model if it's paid, which is rare anyway, so that's fine.
I'm excited about the Wolverine movie.
My phone is currently shut off.
I need display cases for my toys. I can't keep dusting them off.
I want the Star Trek series.

More to come!

Because Sharon and Jack did it....
*EDIT - Sharon, kittycatblack.com and Jack, geek-week.net - not to be mistaken by my aunt and uncle Jack and Sharon Nicholson (lol, sorry dad)

Rules:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing in your LJ.
Post these instructions with your picture!


Don't hate the Cinnamoroll blankie.

out with the bad, in with the good.

to do:
- stop modeling, because i can't do anything with it
- start shooting (photography) more.

I'm highly considering it. I think I want to put together a decent port and shoot working with an agency. As a photographer. Nobody cares what a photographer looks like. And the constant pressure to be thin wouldn't be shunning me all the time.
I think I have a decent eye for it.
I just will take this time from now on to learn more, utilize what tools I am, get some money saved and buy some new toys. New lights. New lens. You name it.
I already have a working list of fashion models, beautiful people who SHOULD be fashion models, together so I can use them.

Wish me luck.

MOVIE REVIEW:
"Funny Games"

This movie was pretty sweet. I liked everything about it except for the last 2 minutes. Not to be mistaken with the ending,
I just mean the last 2 minutes literally. The ending is awesome. Definitely a change of the whole "everybody wins" synopsis.
I just think the movie would have been excellent if it just ended
with the villain walking off the boat. That's it.
None of that "Ohhh here we go again! Shucks!" impression.
I recommend people see this.


There's also no music score. Except for some weird screaming
metal music at the opening title and end credits.
Crazy Germans.

"If you are interested in traveling, adventure and getting some very unusual shots, I am based between Asia and LA, but I shoot all my underwater images in the Philippines - waters are clear warm there (no clean oceans on the U.S. west coast)! I can usually get your travel expenses sponsored by a company in exchange for a one-day job (commercial, print advertising). You would need to make a commitment for 2 weeks, but I can guarantee that you will get an amazing experience and leave with a portfolio that includes amazing shoots."

- Mike Gleissner






I.
Shit.
My.
Pants.

Today is the 7th year of 9/11 terrorist attacks over at ground zero.

You know what?
I forgot. Quite honestly, I don't really care. I'm not patriotic, I'm not political. And in my opinion, since how shitty this country is to everybody, we asked for it anyway.
It's sad that it took a plane to some buildings to get the country to think warmly about anything. It's almost like a Hallmark card, too. Nobody cares until people get murdered on Amurrican soil and then they make a card out of it.